Its funny how someone else's story can help you find even more purpose in your life.
Last weekend I had the pleasure of sharing not only my own story but also Morgan's to 30 at risk youth/teens. In each group there was one who came forward to talk to me privately after about something they related to. Hearing them open up about concerns and themselves help me see why doing what we do is so important. I am not a public speaker by any means and I know it is something that comes with work and time but what I do know is it is something that needs to be done.
The more we share our story of hope and healing then more others will open up about their own struggles and see that healing is an option. Finding strength in others is something that I never thought would be possible but it is. The more people we share with and the more people open up to us about themselves gives me the strength I need to keep going. It has also helped me start to put it all down into what I hope will one day be a book of healing for others.
We have met so many who have stayed silent for years about their struggles or struggles their family/loved ones have faced and when they hear our story they open up and start finding their own purpose in life. Even my husband who is not someone to talk about much will share what we have faced and lost to those he meets while working away at job sites. Every time he does he meets more and more men who have suffered in silence and have faced things that society has deemed they keep to themselves. We have not only allowed teens and families to open up but also men who have faced the shame that society places on them when they suffer from mental illness and addiction.
To me, when a man is able to show you a side of him that allows him to open the darkest and deepest places he has lived it shows true strength and courage. For a man to show he has once been vulnerable to life struggles, to mental illness, and to a place where hope is lost, then he is allowing healing to begin and that takes so much courage and strength. Society has made us believe that a man is suppose to be strong, a provider, to keep his feelings hidden, to not be vulnerable and I am sorry but that has got to stop! We have men who are struggling and suffering in silence because of what we tell them they are suppose to be. We need to stop telling our sons that crying is not okay, that sharing your hopes and dreams with others is not okay, that you are always to appear strong and keep it together and we need to stop shaming men who are sensitive and caring!
For years I watched many men in my life appear strong in the face of others but could see behind those eyes the pain the carried in silence, in fear of what others would think of them. This is no way to live. While we, as women are able to cry, fall apart, and share our inner most feelings; men are left to deal and cope with that alone in their own minds. That is just asking for trouble. That is the reason so many turn to self medicating, to rage outbursts, and to suicide when they can no longer deal and cope with those inner demons. For me a true man is not afraid to show his true feelings, to cry at loss, to show passion towards something that means a lot to him, to show frustration in a healthy way and to love with affection and show that! Feelings need to be encouraged in both men and women. We do not need to be ashamed of what we feel, we shouldn't need to be worried about offending others when sharing our emotions (providing we are doing it respectfully!) Our feeling are our own but sharing them will allow others to gain the courage to share theirs as well.
My husband is currently away and has been for 7 weeks now, he has met a few who have shared their own story after hearing what he has been through and struggles with. One even has gone as far as to finally open up and share everything he has faced in life and that is a blessing. To find purpose in life is eye opening and a huge relief for those who have been faced with lost hope. For many the though of losing someone so close to you to suicide or losing a child to suicide and being able to be open and honest about it and what it has done to your family is enough for them to step back and say "Wow! If this family can lose so much and keep fighting then so can I" and that is a major thing for them.
For me this shows that we are still able to make sure that Morgan is helping others as she always did & wanted. Even on our darkest days we sit and remember why we are doing this and keep going. I know Morgan is proud of what we are doing and will continue to do. Her dreams may have been lost when we lost her but her legacy is still very much alive in what so many of us who loved her are doing. I really hate the saying everything happens for a reason, I prefer to say everything we do comes from a place of loss or passion....... There is no good reason why we lost Morgan but what has happened to continue to help others since losing her is a positive thing that came from the darkest time in my life.
It is time now that more is done not just for teens & youth but also for men. We have met so many amazing men who have struggled for so long in fear of what others would say or think that we have to make sure the men in our lives are emotionally and mentally healthy....... it is time that the stigma around all mental health ends and we stop letting so many live in shame and fear.