When we hear the words "in remission" we often think of illnesses like cancer. Far to often we hear cancer survivors say I am in remission and we all cheer and congratulate them. What we don't hear are those same cheers when someone with mental illness says "I'm in remission". Why is that? Do people not realize what they have endured to reach this stage in their journey? Do people not understand that mental illness can be in remission too? Or is it that we assume that those with mental illness will always be sick and that if they are in remission then they were never sick to begin with?
Well I am here to tell you that remission does happen for those with mental illness and that my daughter is in remission!
So how do we know when those of us with mental illness reach the point in their healing that they are able to say those words we all long to hear? For her it was reaching a point that she wasn't living with suicidal thoughts every single day, that she had gone 2 years with no self harming, 16 months since her last suicide attempt and more importantly she has been able to see when her mental health needed to be put first. It means that her mental illness is no longer controlling her and effecting her everyday life. She is back in school, has a part time job (working at a doggy daycare which is a perfect fit for her), has a boyfriend and is setting her goals and crushing them!
For Bailey and our family this has been a long and very hard road. We have had more counselling sessions then we can count with numerous people, her medications have been adjusted several times, she has been pulled from school to heal and has stopped doing things she loved. We have had good days and bad days, set backs and many steps forward. At 17 she has faced down more demons then we could ever imagine. But the goal has been achieved and she is living her life fully!
As a parent we never want to see our children struggle and we always do what we can to help them along their path. For us it has meant sacrificing sleep, time together and dealing with our own anxieties every time she was outside of our watchful eyes. We learn their triggers, their moods and what helps them. We know when they are going to have a bad day, often before they even realize it. We read everything we can about treatments and ways to help. We drive them to appointments and listen to the doctors every word. We read about medications and ask the pharmacists everything we can so we know what side effects to look for and how the medications work. We spend more time then we realize learning all we can about what our children are going through just so we can help them.
For everyone with mental illness, no matter what your age is, remission is possible!! You can be 17 or you can be 77 and still achieve remission!
Is some of it mental? Defiantly! Having people around you that can keep your positivity up is a very important part of mental illness recovery! Support systems are one of the most important pieces to the puzzle. You need counsellors you can connect with or a support group you can feel safe in. You need an amazing relationship with your doctor who understands mental illness, a pharmacist you can trust to talk to and it wouldn't hurt if you were able to find someone in the nutrition field to help with a proper diet that has benefits for those with mental illness. And more importantly you need family and friends who can stand by your side to help you fight your illness.
Before everyone goes and think that everyone can easily beat their mental illness I want you to know that for some it can take months to feel normal again and others it can take years. And yes there are some who may have short periods of remission and others who will have longer periods of remission. The main thing to remember is while you feel "normal" and are functioning to the best of your ability, is to enjoy life! Find things that make you happy, that give you a reason to keep fighting, chase down your dreams and smash your goals to pieces!! Understand that one bad day is not the end of your remission! Even those of us without mental illness will have bad days, it is about acknowledging your emotions/feelings, letting yourself feel them and then stepping away from it. It is a process to learn but it feels so good when you learn to do it with ease! Every single thing you do and learn about yourself will help you stay in remission longer.
For right now we will enjoy every single day that our daughter is "normal" again and living her life. As a parent, it is all we ever want for our children. To see them happy, makes us happy. To see them accomplish things they never thought possible makes us proud and even helps us want to accomplish things we didn't think we could do. For today we will celebrate our daughter and everything she does, today we will set aside the thoughts and worries we have had, and for today we will let ourselves feel proud of just how far our daughter has come and all she has overcome. Today we celebrate REMISSION from mental illness!!!!!