Yesterday Bailey and I attended the signing for the City of Fort Saskatchewan Proclamation of World Mental Health Day. We had contacted a city councillor who within 12 hours had things rolling and planned with the Mayor. While it was a small step in change for us our Mayor then rendered me speechless by presenting us with the Proclamation. I stood in shock with thoughts of Morgan in my mind. Then the thought of every citizen in our city who battles mental illness. I fought back tears that later came as I sat and reflected on everything we have been doing in the last year.
As a mom I watch Bailey give her first public speech about her twin and herself. I heard a young girl who's heart has been broken by the evils in society. Did she stumble over words and spoke in a quiet voice, yes. But she was also unprepared to speak. But I also heard her voice change to pride when she spoke of the society we created in memory of her sister to raise awareness and to fight for change. I am certain that while yesterday was emotionally hard on her as last night before bed she placed her sisters photo that is usually with her urn beside her bed. When I asked why she did it she stated Morgan was lonely. It downed on me today it is not Morgan who is lonely but Bailey. I watched her enjoy her day, talk to reporters, to councillors and the Mayor but when she got home the reality of Morgan being gone hit her. The one person she always had to share her successes with gone, the one who she shared her inner most thoughts and secrets with gone, and the one she always thought would be there no matter what happened in her life ..... gone.
Bailey has proven her strength time and time again through her awareness videos, her dance videos and just by getting up everyday and trying to get through the day. At 14 this young lady has seen and been through more then most adults and she is surviving.
As a mom I am both proud and heartbroken for the daughter who shows her strength and refuses to show her weaknesses. However as a parent I want her to learn to embrace her doubts and sadness as this is not weakness but life. I want her to feel those emotions and accept them as this is what makes her who she is and let me tell you she is amazing and beautiful inside and out!
Being depressed, having anxiety, OCD, PTSD or any mental illness is not weakness. It is not who you are but a part of you. Mayor Gale said something yesterday that is true, "Mental illness is not a choice but recovery is", the same can be said for those battling addiction. However without the proper care and treatment sometime that choice to recover is not an option. So now we fight to change that and make that statement true for everyone!
With the move we made and getting Bailey adjusted we have had to put a lot on the back burner. After seeing my daughter yesterday it is time to put forth the projects we want to do. Her friend and fellow advocate has put forth some ideas and we plan to make those and others happen. Bailey also will have a pageant coming up that will require work and support from the community but in return she will be supporting her community and standing up for those who need a voice.
So today I sit and reflect on what has happened and what is to come for Bailey, myself, our family and Morgan's Mission as we head into yet another new chapter in our lives. We have made many new and exciting connections and we plan to work with them to create change in our city and yours!